Today I will have a cupcake. Leave work at noon, find the nearest cupcake, stick it in my mouth, and swallow. Much like a sorority girl on spring break in Cancun, only instead of a cupcake she substitutes a cock. New thoughts, more productive thoughts will arise from that act of swallowing

I like to take walks every now and again. Clear the mind. Breath in the exhaust from the taxi cabs and luxury sedans that speed by me. The main goal of my walk is to not step in dog shit or step in gum. If I do either of these things I throw away my shoes and buy another pair. It