Thesis Teeth

Bryan, I got your message. but i’m not done until wednesday. NO SLEEP TIL WEDNESDAY


Sometimes you forget that you’re in love. And then you remember because you go to New York and hang out in the best city and see the tightest shit and spend time with the sweetest people and the man of your dreams. And I only got drunk three times!

PS. Kari has me totally pegged. And I’m not ashamed.

Ridiculous, but dreamy nonetheless!

The lovely Monsignor Gorelick park right by Pat and Alexander’s house where I stayed the whole week. It’s in Greenpoint so you can kick it with helluv old drunk polish dudes sucking down smirnoff at 10am. Luckily, the neighborhood is so awesome that they are absorbed into the complex mesh of community that makes Brooklyn so much nicer than the city.

Eventually I made it to the city to see my pals and was reminded why Manhattan is so different- these dudes are painting a 300 ft. mural of Madonna for an H&M ad.

Adri and Annie took me to drink Pina Coladas, Margaritas, and Guyabana Shakes.

Later that night, everybody came to Roebling Tea Room where Nicoletta works for dinner and drinks. BEST MAC AND CHEESE IN THE NY. Dorian was looking dapper.

Chocolate Pot de Creme = PURE EROTICISM.

Eroticism at the Tea Room Continues.

Annie loved it.

More Eroticism. It is what i imagined a vomitorium would have been like only without the vomiting. Mostly just the feasting and sensual stimulation of all kinds.

I took Cary and Rachael home to play with Pat. We Hookah-ed and they discussed Spanish and Portuguese Literature.

Bryan dropped Emmy off at the Levee to meet us. This is my favorite bar in Brooklyn because they give out free Utz Cheez Balls. UNLIMITED FREE CHEEZ BALLS.

Fucking Adorables. Beard-0 and Gina.

Alexander does his Terminator 2 Scary cop impression as we run to the Van to drink Fernet. Needless to say I blacked out for a small portion of the evening.

Luckily, it wasn’t for this part. titty city eat your heart out! Emily.





Ghetto Fabulous= Ben Greenberg

“Dude. You don’t need your Chips.”

Flaming Hot Fingers.

A day with Coffee Nerds- Meeting with RJ for Coffee Tour 2007, NYC. I haven’t been on a drug binge like this in a really long time.

The Dealer’s Abode: RJ Glass has the prettiest apartment.

The Kitchen

Dealer’s Sister: Melanie.

Tour Protocol:
Soy Macchiato and/or Brew where available. Drink within 60 seconds of “pull” otherwise essential oils will disappear and the shot is essentially dead. Pat ordered regular macchiatos because he’s neither vegan nor lactose intolerant.

First Stop- Gimme! coffee Brooklyn. Nice espresso shot. Not the best I’ve ever had, but good.

2nd Stop- Manhattan. 9th Street Espresso- this is their new location at 13th between 3rd and 4th Av- unbelievably delicious drink.

This according to RJ and from my own experience- best, most serious espresso in the nation.

All espresso served triple ristretto. Look at that gorgeous macchiato. Dang.

After having our minds and taste buds totally blown, we moved on to Cafe Collage (Bleeker and Macdougal?)- they use beans from Intelligentsia- very famous roasters out of Chicago.

Also a beautiful macchiato- but definitely sub-par in flavor.

They had a cool video of coffee bean processing and cupping on in the background.

I started to crash so we made it to Johns so we could take a break from the Caffeine and put in some of the Best Pizza in the world. John’s Pizzeria is so good it’s crazy and it’s been there FOREVER. But my shit was so fucked by this point i could only eat a piece and a half. Goddam uppers…

Moving Right along- Melanie works at this awesome coffee shop called “Jack’s Stir Brew Coffee” on 10th between Greenwich and Waverly.

Afraid I was going to OD on coffee, I opted for water and the Best chocolate Chip Cookie in New York City. Seriously, they have a multi-generation secret recipe for these cookies that are so goo they’ll make you wanna slap your momma in the face.

Grumpy’s Manhattan- there’s another grumpy’s in Brooklyn but it’s attached to a church so We’ve been slightly hesitant to go there despite their tasty beverages. The one in the city, however, has the added bonus of posessing two CLOVERS. The magical coffee making machine that is so temperature and time accurate that it produces the cleanest, sweetest cup of coffee you ever had. so good.

Melanie had a Soybraltar (Soy-Gibraltar)- which I had never seen outside of San Francisco until that day.

Anyway, I was shaking and sweating and peeing every two minutes and had to be taken home so the coffee tour ended and we hadn’t even gone to all the places RJ planned to take us to. While I was in horrible physical condition after that, I can safely say- IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.
Later that night Pat and I picked up RJ and we drove out to Providence to visit Renee at RISD. Turns out she lives in a mansion for hecka cheap and Ben Kaminsky was visiting her too. We got drunk and stayed up til 5. And I woke up really early and Steamrolled everybody.

This made them very happy.

Renee’s nightstand.

Pat walking out of the Mansion.

There’s a trap door that leads to the roof of the mansion. I made it to the top rung and the ladder slid out from under me but Renee helped me up. I bruised my boob and bent my bra.

This is Renee laughing at my pain.

We yelled through the trap door until RJ came to get the ladder and join us and show us his plumber crack.

It was really nice in Providence.

And we were right next to RISD and “Brown Town” (Pat is credited with saying this several times over the course of the day whenever we were near Brown University)

We walked across the street to check out some of the senior show stuff, unfortunately the galleries were locked except for the stuff in the lobby.

Renee tells us that the painting department isn’t the strongest at this point. We didn’t know what she meant. (This is my latest attempt at Sarcasm. Because we DID know, because some of that shit looked like 5th grade science projects.)

I showed emmy the pictures and she got super serious and said, “Hallie, can we talk about something? I want to know, What do they put in the water that makes all the boys from San Francisco so tall and good looking?” and then I said “Alexander’s not that tall.” and but then she was like, “but he’s HOT. Seriously WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THE WATER?!”

In the living room.

We were trying to look at the south park episode with the Dog Whisperer but we couldn’t find it. After this we went to dinner and took Ben and Renee back to New York with us.

We had tickets to see Hella and the Dirty Projectors. I asked if Pat would shave of the mall metal so I could just have the Mustache (ahem-ride). Then we asked if Arroyo would shave it off also so that he could just have that “I’m going to fuck you dirty in weird and awesome ways”-look. Travis was already ahead of the game.

After the show, people came home with us and a lot of people bought booze. Nick KJ bought a grapefruit and fed it to people. I think alexander took lots of these photos i can’t remember.

Yes, he did take these. The lovely Ivy.


Gina’s hair and Pat’s Head. This picture is totally amazing because it’s both pat with a HUGE BEARD and Gina wearing a tiny pat hat.

Jen and I bonded.

Alexander’s Lamby and I bonded. He pooped on it. When he was a baby.

This is Alexander and baby alexander.

Finally, we made it to Relish for Brunch on my last day in NY. Adri came and it was great.

We had bloody mary’s.

Ben joined us before he left for the bus.

We had the best veggie burger with poblano relish and delicious onion rings and fries and brioche french toast with pear ginger compote.

We dropped Adri off in China. I mean Chinatown. But really it was just like China.

Then we picked up arroyo and took him to 9th street, the original at 9th street and Avenue C. Much cozier and they had free pins! And the super nice girl gave us a free macchiato!

Arroyo liked it.

Then we visited Alexi at her work, “Fabulous Fanny’s” Pat did some modeling for me.

So hot.


Chumley’s for our last dinner.
To end this ridiculously long blog- the one thing I did learn over the break was that you can’t squeal over every cute little dog you see when you’re in New York because then you will have no voice and you will never make it down the street because EVERYBODY has a cute little dog. EVERYBODY.

AAaww! Little Eewok dog!!!



Doggy Daycare!!


Fell in love with Freddy the French Bulldog at Chumley’s in the West Village.

I want to go back.