lots to catch up on. here goes. there’s a lot to post, so no time for witty banter or making fun of my friends. ..ok maybe a little time for the latter.
the sizes are a little messed up. oops. ok go.
nothing boosts my ego like watching people read my blogs and laugh. emmy and sam happen to be pretty whilst doing it.
oh yeah and then there’s kari when she reads them.
this is what happens when i let kari or emmy borrow my camera.
joe’s vagina.
got my camera back.
so i could shoot THIS. amazing.
emily’s new sweatsuit jacket. i.e. 90 year old jewish man in florida.
then we saw the morning benders at bottom of the hill.
it’s actually pretty weird how attractive my friends are. i dont fraternize with the uglies.
i cant keep my lips off their purty faces.
manning the merch table.
twins?
and lovebryan was here! and kari is a whooooooooooore. that’s some serious contact.
kari always acts like a lady.
me and bryan.
bryan took his place at the front of the crowd.
bending the morning.
bffs.
we miss daniel. did you know that he enjoys pedicures? well you do now. and so do all the rest of the bancroft bombers.
emmy on the rhodes. it was off.
brittany and her sister chelsea are ethereal creatures. check out those eyes.
au revoir simone played. they weren’t the best but they were nice to look at.
pedicures. seriously.
earlier i said joe had a vagina. here’s the proof. god, “femalia” has really enhanced all of our lives.
emmy is adorable.
more fun with femalia. lesbian fun.
whoooooooooooooooooooo(re). also 90 year old gray vag? really? that’s weird.
rachael gave daniel a haircut.
brush your shoulders off.
i wasn’t to be outdone.
this will be my last rachie-cut for a while.
then daniel bid us farewell and left us for NY. i hate NY. steals all my friends.
alison and i practiced for our upcoming secret cafe gig.
rachie prepared to leave us for spain and threw party at her parents’.
she cooked us these vegan things.
and i got vegan boots.
i think rachael’s dad was mad about how far away spain is.
meanwhile, this happened. as per usual.
jason and anya.
just us girls!
the lovely couple heading for spain.
i smelled someone’s drink and got tipsy.
i accidentally put my thumb over the flash and THIS happened! so much fun to be had…
rachie’s new tattoo looks good in red.
red cora. rora! duh. combining words is the funnest.
rari and remily.
eli and chelsuck saw red.
chris still won’t admit it, but even in red we look alike.
this is the only time you’ll see me play sports.we jews aren’t particularly good at sports. but wi doesn’t seem to know that. it can mimic all my moves, but it has no jew-radar. i wasn’t the only jew having fun.
emily bowled so hard her arms fell off.
rosemary was overly excited about her newfound competitve strengths.
but after a while, wi figured us out when midnight struck and we turned back into jews.
my friends’ hotness never ceases to amaze me.
even in the light of day they look pretty damn good.
and you can’t get much cuter than cooball (emily).
we had a breakfast party at the channing house. rosemary made pancakes.
kari made fresh juice.
chris got domestic.
which is as rare as emily getting domestic. just kidding. my wiiiiiife!
rachael threw a secret cafe to say adios before leaving for spain. anyone who is anyone who is also hot was there.
the beautiful ladies of the beautiful house kindly allowed us all to invade for a night of merriment and good eats.
brian rogers and cary and i came early to be the sous chefs. rachael is a hard-ass and runs a real tight ship. between every step of cooking she makes you drink wine and tell jokes and make out. what? it was hard.
chelsuck and lolo are opposite people but come from the same arian stock. the only thing sullying this pure picture is my jew thumb that got in the frame.
alison and i also come from the same stock. matzoh ball soup stock.
sarah and alison.
i have no idea what we were so enthralled by but it looks like it was pretty amazing.
are stalagmites the ones that go up?
or down?
this is the menu for the vegan three-course meal we cooked. rachael’s creations.
THE FOLLOWING SERIES IS CALLED “MY FRIENDS ARE PRETTY.” I HOPE VERY VERY MUCH THAT RACHAEL WILL FIND THIS FUNNY AND STILL BE MY FRIEND. seriously though, pretty.
pretty!
still pretty!
pretty-ish!
pretty? wait for it…
KODAK MOMENT SO PRETTY IT HURTS ME. i know laughing at other people’s discomfort is bad, especially when they are your friend, but its just too good. but rachie you told me i HAD to blog with ALL the pictures so you could have them! plus rach, you already have a boyfriend and he still loves you even after he saw this, so he’s a keeper. i love you. so pretty.
in case you forgot, rachael usually looks like this.
or this.
or this. ok my job here is done.
we now return to our regularly scheduled programming: my friends are pretty.
slaving away in the kitchen.
learning from the master.
roasted bell pepper, young thai coconut, and nectarine soup. i know.
the chef and her admirers.
invite only, suckers!
dewey? jordan?
mushroom encrusted tofu, black and white summer rice, and young baby green salad.
yep, it was THAT good. just ask anya and lulu, licking their plates clean.
more satisfied customers.
twinlove.
squared.
the natives were getting restless, so i got out some porn from the house’s recycling pile.
it kept them entertained.
for a while.
but seriously. those articles take a while to read.
cutest.
the audience was nice to look at.
we played some songs.
as did mr. chu.
secret cafe crew 2007.
so much more to come its crazy. prepare yourself. work out.
bye blog.
love chloe.
Wow, I feel like I'm finally seeing evidence of stories my mom told me about when I was a child.
You need to invite me to Rachaelz vegan feasts and your next Secret Shows!!!!! Pleeeease, Por Favorrrrr. I mean really, I'm a jew toooo!!
your blogs are all identical
gimme some more people and/or pictures of vagins to lick.
holy shit my roommate and i just got the best ab workout from scrolling through the rachael pics and back up and down again. my abs hurt. ps you look good berkeley girls get ready i'm coming home.
longest blog ever. i was especially partial to the cooball photo and the one of rachie and patch. oh, and you look so adorable in braids i could eat you! and if i don't see you soon ima get revenge by moving to new york. but really. xoxo
whats the cello players signage?
don't hate
love your blog and your hot friends. hahaha! write more. xoxo
so on a scale of 1 to gay, joe is like 98% lesbian? okay, if you insist.
You are not bad people, but you are self-absorbed, shallow hipsters, and for that I dislike you. -Mark, Berkeley
And I really do want this to be my last post ever on here, but jesus Chloe (I think you can appreciate that), are you trying to hit some quota every time you blog? I mean, it's like, we get it: You're Jewish. And that photo set you laid out for Rachael was pretty cold. I mean, "C'mon!" Are you serious? That was so mean. I can't imagine how reluctant you must be to put photos of yourself up that portray you with any unpleasantness, i.e. aesthetically speaking. But look how easy it is to do that to someone else. And someone who doesn't even photo blog, no less. So it's not like she gets a chance to make herself the Ashley to your Wynona. But whatever, your blog was my favorite to read. I couldn't look away. If you want, I won't anymore. I don't care. I'm pretty done with all this anyway. Maybe I'll introduce myself sometime at the Local. But probably not, that place sucks. Sincerely, -Mark S. Kraus, Berkeley CA suarkram@yahoo.com
And yes, I realize 'The Local' is not a place so much as it is a table. And I think you're kind of a total JAP. But whatever, you're cute. And I can just imagine your subconcious working overtime as you read that: 'God, that guy's a total asshole and a loser…but he thinks I'm cute…' And when I said I couldn't look away, I meant in the same way you can't look away from a horrible car wreck…or in your case, probably a baby. So goodbye. And good luck with your dreams, Paris: doing 'whatever'…as long as one day you get to be in the limelight: 'Umm…is famous an occupation?'
And maybe I was a little mean, too, right now, but I hope you see the significance of my comments here out of the context of my last invective directed at lovebryan as a whole, i.e. instead of an attack it's more like fan mail, which is obviously spewing with hate since the internet is the ultimate purveyor of different degrees of anonymity. So please don't be hurt. I think you are very funny and witty and cute. And really good-bye and good luck. I won't read your blog anymore. -Mark…xo
whoa. mark is totally in love with you and hates himself for it. oh my god! maybe he's a self-hating jew too! do you think he knows ilya?
I think he means Jewish American Princess, not Japanese. Sorry, girl, you're still Asian in my heart.
Is Mark Kraus, Berkeley a comedian?
The Morning Benders rule! So does Chloe. p.s. – Dear Mark Kraus, Please straight up eat a bowl of dicks. Love, Boris.
chloe. blog some more shit so we can all look up "invective" again and read some more jew jokes. i'm starting to forget why jews are funny.