Rachael invited me to Easter at her parents’ amazing house that she was housesitting. I obviously had no plans that day since I am neither a believer in Christ nor a bunny.
Hallie had been sick in bed for a week so I picked her up and brought her to the Easter celebration. Coughing up a lung seems to do her good. HELLLooo.
So many layers. Mecameraglasswindowglassplaterachael.
I gotta stop watching America’s Next Top Model. Yeah right, that show RULES.
I always forget that sunglasses ruin my Asian street cred.
Window into Narnia? Or China. Can’t really tell.
“WOMAN! Bring me some food!”
Rachael made tofurkey-wrapped-asparagus. Except for those bloody ones on the bottom- those are prosciutto. I won’t tell you what prosciutto is made of first because it is gross and second because frankly I don’t know.
Not that I smoke or drink, but how much does this make me want to do both of those things? A lot. That’s how much. Cigarettes and blood orange mimosas.
Add a New York Times and you got yourself an Easter party. Or if you’re a Jew, Sunday.
No wait NOWWW you’ve got yourself a Sunday. I mean Easter party.
Hallie and I demonstrated for Rachael how rubbing arms can be very arousing and pleasurable. I mean religious and pious, baby Jesus.
Rachael made an easter egg hunt for us. She hid an egg with each of our names on it.
Celebrating our finds! Except Nikola, who couldn’t find his.
I thought mine would say Christ-killer on it, but it just said Slippy!
Joe and his gay. I mean egg.
Cora and egg.
I don’t know why Elise’s egg said “Gary.”
Meg and egg.
Emily and her tits. I mean egg.
Hostess with mostess with egg.
Hallie and a bad egg?
We found Nikola’s egg eventually. Well, at least its shell. Dogs ate it. Oops. Caught you blue-tongued doggie!
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Nikola stepped in poo, a common hazard of the backyard. Sorry Nikola, Jesus just wasn’t on your side today. But it’s ok, he’s never on mine.
“Watch out for dog doo!”
Nothing says Easter like a black cock.
Seriously, Rachael made us so much food. Emmy was either happy about this or scared.
Honeydew lips! (I was gonna say “melon mouth” but then it sounded like a racist slur. well, now i DID say it. shit. stop typing. oh god.)
Justine came! I love chips. Hallie didn’t like something.
Served drinks right out the window.
Window into Drunk Narnia, now.
Hallie took a nap. In Heaven apparently.
Emmy tried to play but Jesus turned her away and told her Jews have their own heaven. It’s called “The Dollar Store.”
I hate cats a lot because they make me sneeze and make my throat close up and my nose run and my eyes tear (unacceptable because it can be mistaken for emotions). But how crazy are their eyes? Crazy devil allergen eyes.
Rachael then whipped up an amazing dinner. Samantha and Anya!
Jesus should ascend more often. I ate sooo well on Easter.
Justine and Hallie made miso! I helped a little. Group Asian effort. YES got my cred back.
Cheers tp a lovely evening and even lovelier friends!
Sometimes, when everything else is a blur of movement, you can find Rachael staying perfectly still! Eerie.
Bitches where they belong, doing what they should.
The night ended with a fire and a bunch of us lounging in the living room. We realized life will NEVER be like this again. All day parties, group cooking, cuddle puddles in front of the fire, housesitting the parents’ awesome house, kissing on the lips, egg hunts, lazy afternoons with a dozen of your closest friends…..I told my mom that and she said you can still have lots of friends over for brunch and dinner and fire when you are adults. But then I asked her if she and her friends still touch each other’s boobs. Nope. So there it is, guys. Life will NEVER be like this again. Let’s make the most of these last few weeks of college. Well, I’m doing an extra semester, but for most of you…