IT’S SPRING BREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK@&$#*@$%&$$%!#@#%!!
this is what happened the last two months:
justine’s house had a dessert soiree for morgan’s bday. vegan treats for all!
justine got dolled up for the occasion. and when i say “doll,” i mean “cleavage.”
caroline and i ate a lot of chocolate. and when i say chocolate, i mean cleavage. what?
my favorite is when people really really want their picture taken. this is what it looks like.
whoa. remember that dude? julian enjoys vegan but not as much as bryan who was staring at that cupcake like it was cleavage or something. goddddd, what is it with me and tits?
that’s syd. one time justine was about to leave for an interview and syd came on her nice shirt. gross. apparently syd likes cleavage as much as i do.
i met emmy in san francisco on one of those anomalous scorchers in february. she was psyched.
but then she got kinda stressed.
and then bummed. hella emotionally unstable. it musta been pms. goddd i’m the worst feminist ever. CLEAVAGE.
we all cheered up though when we saw this girl. she didn’t get the memo about not showing your uterus to strangers.
emily came with mat and his physics department friends and none of them had ever been to golden gate park so i took them to the botanical garden.
it was as though they’d never seen a pond before. i guess they don’t have those in physics labs though.
oh so then hallie came running through the park in a bathing suit and scooped me and em up and took us to dolores park. i found a wounded baby hummingbird on the ground and picked it up and after i let it sit on my head and held it for a while it flew away. i healed it. a minute later a bird flew by and shit on emily’s head. HA.
we tried to wipe the poo off emily’s hair but it was difficult because we were laughing so hard. don’t worry em, i hear it’s good luck to get pooped on by a bird. i mean, not as lucky as HEALING a bird, but lucky all the same.
me laughing at emily. common occurence.
there were about a billion hipsters there with fixed gears and outrageous hairdos. god, i’m so over it. slash JACKPOT! THAT is where i’m gonna find a boyfriend. i’m single.
OH GOD MY EYES! one time i caught mikey sniffing glue in nothing but his hair shirt.
what that glue was really for was making a fucking million page going away book for bryan. in case you missed out on it here’s a sampling.
it was mostly filled with jokes of the “bryan is gay” genre.
like this collage homage of men that bryan has been bromantic with.
we threw bryan a surprise party. he was surprised cuz hallie blindfolded him. you aren’t suprised cuz bryan already stole my camera and then all my pictures and blogged them. here are some he didn’t blog.
eli and emi.
remember the time narcissus died from starvation because he was too busy looking at his own reflection to eat? the picture of bryan that bryan is taking a picture of is on a cake, so at least the starvation thing wont be the cause of death.
instead of staring at bryan’s face, we ate away at it. kinda like leprosy!
sometimes i got my head in the clouds.
well, those little fake clouds hanging from cameron’s ceiling.
didn’t i say that meghan is the most photogenic??
AK and AK being homoerotic: priceless. well, not so much priceless as ordinary, everyday, and mundane.
it was supposed to be a middle school dance themed party but lisa and emily and their friend were the only ones who really did it: goth, jock, nerd.
so many subtleties here. what’s going onnn?
bob flirting: “yeah, i have a really big sweating problem.” amazing.
i heard that if you put pictures of your shoes on your blog and mention hip/popular things like NIKES, DUNKS, CHUKKA BOOTS, and ADIDAS, you’ll get way more hits. at least that’s what awkward jesse’s certified dudes thing seems to do, so i’m gonna try it out. CLOGS, RAINBOOTS, TEVAS, UGGS, FLIP FLOPS, MUKLUKS. man, i’ma gonna get so many hits.
due to the theme, there was slow dancing. highlight of the night was my slow dance with nicole.
i don’t know WHAT creepy thing AK is doing in the background, but i’d appreciate it if bryan stopped looking at emily’s cleavage area. that’s my job.