Marcy babysits Thea.

Marcy is the first to admit that she likes it when she coos Thea’s name and she responds with “mama.” What? Her biological clock is ticking. Sperm donors welcome.


Thea and Marcy have a lot in common. They both love them some bikes…

and they both love them some P.B. and J.

Marcy was babysitting one night so Chloe packed up some dinner and wine and went over there to keep Marcy company. Marcy got paid $12 dolla an hour to watch Chloe accidentally roofie herself.

Chloe babysits Sivan.

Pretty fuckin adorable.

Chloe lets him play with gerbil poo. For people who hallie hasnt given one to and nonasians: its winnie the pooh dressed up as a gerbil, not actual feces.

Sivan asked Chloe to read him some nursery rhymes.

They started out only a little weird. Baby Bunting was def not vegan.

Then got a little weirder. Better say your prayers, kiddies, or Mother Goose will kick your asses down the goddamn stairs.

Chloe has her own ideas about why Lazy Mary cant get out of bed today. And if Mother Goose knew, she’d probably kick Lezzy Mary down the stairs too. Then they got even weirder…

Who doesn’t? But still, Chloe didn’t feel right reading this to a two year old. Marcy adamantly defended Mother Goose’s good name. Chloe gets the whole pussy/cat thing but…

Ride a Cock-Horse? C’mon Mother Goose, you horny bitch. That’s just straight wrong.

Lessons of the day: Father Goose didn’t satisfy his woman, Mother Goose had a thing for tiny ginies, and for all you suckas who arent gettin paid for gettin drunk and readin softcore bedtime stories, babysitting’s the shit (except when you’re up to your elbows in it).