Most of you have gotten a taste of where I’m from after seeing the Coon Dog Day Blogs. The purpose of this blog is to give you the full experience of small town southern living.
(Some of these pictures are new, some are old, some film, some digi, some B&W others not… I guess what I’m trying to say is bear with the inconsistencies.)
Welcome to the SOUTH…
Watch your step and don’t take any wrong turns…
Or you could end up like this. But we’ll get back to him later.
Lets start with some of the staples. You can’t drive ten feet in the south without seeing one of these cross signs. They are tricky though cause some of them read down-across-down, some read down-down-across, etc.
And EVERY church has these witty little signs. Who knew Christians were so clever.
Adeville church offers a self-help group for recovering myspacers. If you don’t get help at Adeville Church, please get help somewhere.
140 years later, the south is still fighting the civil war.
Southern stupidity is often funny, but the truth of the matter is that it’s really sad that there are still people in the world that think this way.
These picnic tables in Saluda were just painted a couple of weeks ago. These are the first two things that were carved into them…
Rednecks can be emo too.
The town of Sandy Mush is about 10 minutes from where I go to school. I did a documentary on the town. It’s the closest thing to Gummo that I have ever encountered.
For the documentary I went to the Sandy Mush Auction. It was unbelievable! I wish I had photos to share. I think the most popular items were the Dale Earnhardt and Dale Earnhardt Jr. ash trays.
This house is in Sandy Mush too. You may recognize it from the FALL installment of broken branches.
As the story goes: a lady used to run a barber shop out of this house until she went crazy and shot her boyfriend in the front yard. They took the lady to jail.
And left the house to die.
I have more pictures of “Git r done” stickers on the back of trucks, but if you’re half as nauseated by the phrase as I am you’ll agree that one will suffice.
You can take your technology and GIT OUT!
This is Bryan Hipp. A few years ago Bryan saw his friend Mike Howard driving toward him from a distance and decided to initiate an impromptu game of chicken. Neither of them chickened out and they had a head on collision. Both of them were hospitalized and Bryan’s girl friend broke both of her arms. Bryan still keeps the mangled truck facing the road as a trophy for everyone to see. It has never even occurred to him to be ashamed of his stupidity… He’s just proud he didn’t chicken out.
This is a calendar for all of the happenings that we get to look forward to throughout the year. Needless to say, growing up we had to be a bit creative to keep ourselves entertained.
The “TUNNEL OF TERROR” was the hang out spot growing up in Saluda. We would take people down there and scare the shit out of them as a sort of initiation into our crew. The tunnel makes a 90-degree turn half way through so it is pitch dark walking through it and it’s under the railroad so it was pretty intense when the train came.
I’m sure you have all heard the stereotype about rednecks and duct tape. Well I don’t know about that one, but I can tell you for damn sure that rednecks have a strange obsession with weed whackers. They feel the need to whack every weed that pops up in their yard, but don’t seem to mind the 5 broken down cars that call the front lawn home.
This is Monte’. He was in school for audio production with plans for being a rap star, but recently changed his major to dentistry. Good luck with them Grillz Monte’.
I wrote a whole essay about Bettie Anna. She is an 80yr old retired English teacher who has been a student at my community college for about 12 years now. She is undoubtedly the craziest person I know. She never stops talking and accuses every other female on campus of being a whore. She once said to one of my teachers, “I may wear leather pants, but at least I’m not a WHORE like you!”
My Mom knows this guy through her mail route that she does a few days a week. She set me up with a photo shoot.
This knife is his most prized possession. Apparently it’s from some famous movie.
This one’s called the “Winged Temptress”
Aside from knife collecting, he also makes these wooden poles and walking sticks. He’s very proud.
It’s like a competition around here to see who loves Jesus the most. On display here we have a family of “Double Christians.”
If you travel about 30 miles west to Asheville, you will find a whole different breed of redneck…
“151% Redneck Lesbian” -Head tat.
I went driving aimlessly the other day and stumbled across this Cattle farm.
I thought this one was the boss man until…
The rancher guy came out and explained the whole business to me. A bull’s worth is measured by the distance between the tips of its horns. So those curled up horns don’t cut it.
This is a $21,000 bull. A straw of its semen sells for $700. A rancher’s prize possession.
Wouldn’t you pay 700 bucks for a piece of those genes???
A cow picking it’s nose will never stop being funny to me.
As for us, we had to hold ours.
It’s a dead end life here. Better move to Frisco and buy a fixed gear…