Brunt has another bad day.

This photo is more or less unphotoshopped. I figured out how to do multiple exposures which should keep me busy and laughing for the next few months or so.

Meet ROB.

Rob had a good day today. Things are looking up for Rob indeed. He has a successful business and a wife who loves him. All the children in the town look to Rob for guidance and answers to some of life’s most difficult questions like “which board does the best tricks?” And “Which griptape is best for darkslides?”

This is Brunt. Brunt is grumpy because his friends woke him up at 4PM to go skate. Brunt is still a bit drunk following a night of King Cobra, Pabst, and gambling away other people’s money. You could say Brunt’s 40 bottle is half empty.

Rob ate his Wheaties this morning. He is high on life and ready to rip.

I have to apologize for snapping this photo too early. Rob peaked this method about 15 feet higher than this.

After this Judo air a scout for Nike approached Rob about signing a contract and getting his own shoe. Rob was like “No way brah, I’m a soul skater. I just do it for the fans man.”

Rob had to busts a Christ air for your sins.

Brunt still hates life. He hates skating Rob’s bullshit hippie tree spots and he hates you. Brunt attempts a tree ride but his board has other plans.

Brunt’s board would rather take a swim.

“Who the fuck put a goddamn river there?” Brunt hates you for laughing at this photo.

Photos of Brunt are blurry to convey the fury and drunkenness of Brunt. It’s artistic interpretation, NOT technical error… Fuck off.

Still got pop? No, because Jesus does not love Chris Brunt.

Will focusing a board bearfoot make you look tough? Maybe, but it will also make you have bruised heels… Life sucks.

What a shitty day, maybe tomorrow will be better… Probably not. LAME.

Kristen’s 21st was Friday. We had a full day of farming and golfing. I know I already did the whole “fun with animals” thing with my Warren Wilson blog, but THIS time instead of big noses/balls we chilled with mini horses and donkeys.
Kristen is my blog apprentice and will be helping/distracting me while I blog. Any misteaks or mispelingz are two bee blaimed on hir.

[M] This place is near my house. It’s called Brae Moo Farm. We didn’t know the names of any of the animals, so we had to come up with our own.
[K] Happy Birthday Me! Oh right, so I used to always drive past this farm & admire these cuteasses from afar. It was pretty damn cool stopping in for a closer visit.

[M] This one was Butros. He has one of the best noses I’ve seen in all my travels.
[K] …what about mine?

[M] Jack was the most timid of the group.

[M] This one was our favorite, but we couldn’t come up with a good name for it… Midget will do for now.
[K] I was in favor of SunshineyCuteassPinkFuzzyButterlips. I think I was voted down.

[M] I got the artsy bug… couldn’t help it.
[K] He *ahem* took a photo of a rusty nail right before this. Hem.

[M] Midget was such a stoner.
[K] I think he looks like a really cute 2yr old kid… complete with bad haircut and runny nose.

[M] I was glad to see that he had an appreciation for quality footwear and an ability to sniff out only the finest nikes.

[M] Or maybe I had just stepped in a fresh pile O’ dung.

[M] After an hour or so we decided that there is only so much fun to be had with a mini horse and a couple of donkeys so we hit the road towards Asheville…After a short stop for Gelato of course.
[K] (he means legal kind of fun)

[M] We will be missed.
[K] bye SunshineyCuteassPinkFuzzyButterlips!!

Any avid golfer knows that without the proper attire one can make an absolute fool of themselves on the course… So we made a quick stop at goodwill.

Gotta come correct

mission accomplished?

Apparently we didn’t fit the dress code, but they let us slide anyway.

Patton Ave golf course is no joke. No sub par golfers allowed.

Step one, select ball that best reflects your golfing style.

Step two, make sure balls are washed thoroughly.

Yep

There is about a 1 in 18 chance that I made this shot. I remember I got one hole in uno.

nice steeze.

We had to let other golfers go ahead of us because we spent more time looking like golfers than actually golfing.

SHOOTAAAAAA’

Right before Kristen took this picture the flash popped up and hit her visor… I guess it was funny.

Things got pretty heated around hole 17.

She needs a miracle at the final hole

No such miracle was granted. Check out the lady with the video camera in the background.

She had a FUPA that extended to her fucking chin.

Maybe next birthday kid.

After golf we ate at Flying Frog and headed back to the apartment for wine and desert… I think Kristen fell asleep. Her captions for this section will be added later.

… But it’s sooo fun. I have two new blogs in the works, but I acidently forgot to bring my camera home today so you’ll have to wait another day or two. Kristen’s birthday blog and Rob and Brunt’s good day/bad day (respectively) blog are on the way and will be worth the wait.

FEAR THE RANCORRRRRR