I had to update the photo. Previously was a fountain in the Turkish Quarter in Sarajevo; drinkers of its waters will have many returns. This photo is just one that makes my heart swell.

Buried standing up to conserve space.

Witchcraft and wizardry.

Dear dear heart.

Joan Collins has a lot to say.

Can’t yet tell how (un)dazzling the mid-Atlantic is. Perhaps I need to commit to either the North or the South.

Ikea recently capitalized on the hubbub and hung a series of ads in the metro station calling for “educational reform” and “change” in the form of various organizational furnitures (bookshelves).

Friend bait.

Ruff rape and rage poor.

She looks heftier now, right? Heartbreaking.

We’re related somehow, but not this way.

Wishing you a fruitful new year.

xo,
kari

Oh wait, jk. Went to Maine first.

Our capital’s capitol.

People here are strange. I have never seen such resilient, self-assured coiffes in my whole life–like moving, perfect sculptures.

That is compared to my pal, Courtney, who also lives here and is more like a moving trainwreck than a moving sculpture.

In keeping with my proclivities I am going to get fat here too.

And finally come out of the closet (but not in California, those Prop. 8 assholes).

Joe Ferrell and the Morning Benders came to DC to play a show at one of our three venues.

For Hallie, again.

These are the people live with; they are generally awesome.

A murder of crows.

The best food here is at the bars or the pupuserias.

A murderous murder of crows.

Stick ‘stache.

My roommate, Bobbie. She is an awesome public librarian who is mad into kickball, smarts, and brunch.

Columbia Heights has some off-the-chain shaved ice with tamarind syrup.

We went to Deerhunter on the night of The Election and did away with the last of our California greens beforehand.

We danced, punched a cunt in the back of the head, and got licked by a slut. Unfortunately, did not document the latter two events.

Then we went outside, and this sexy dude with no shirt and a lot of sexy told us that Obama won!

This dude is sexy too.

Site of the 1968 riots.

We walked a couple miles to the White House in the pouring rain.

There were thousands of people dancing, yelling, running, cheering, and high-fiving their ways down the avenues to Lafayette Square. A lot of folks were crying inconsolably from relief, and it was pretty much the exact opposite of being in Berkeley in 2004.

Did I mention we got (sexy) rained on?

These girls eventually joined the saturated drum circle right before the crowd turned into a suffocating stampede.

Everyone was singing in front of the White House. “Fuck You” chants to W. were drowned out by the “Na na na na, hey hey, goodbye” song and “We are the Champions.”

Courtney topped off the epicness by peeing upon a bank.

xo,
kari

Oh and what a bummer! I only just noticed that about half of these got cut off at the library. Apologies. Next set comes with all 4 complete sides included.

xo,
kari

This monkey reminds me of Joe Ferrell.

xo,
Japakari

[p.s. Through no fault of my own, my computadora crashed and fucked up many of my photos, Food. Please don't take it personally that not all of these photos do justice to your glory.]

Food, you were very forceful with me when I arrived cold and alone in Bordeaux. But it was for the better, I think.

Sometimes you made me eat breakfast with your friend (and my enemy) Pernod so that we could invoke Hemingway. You always know the right things to do.

On the 10th day, god invented Mayonnaise.

And on the 11th day, Food orally pleasured me in Ireland.

Food, you and I had a long and torrid affair with the Banoffi intercessor. He ultimately made you jealous, I think.

But we made up and it was beautiful.

Who knew that you could be flavored so delicately even after a heavy night of drinking rum?

In one of your lesser, albeit intriguing forms. I love you even with your make-up off.

Metaphors abound.

Remember this night? This was the first time I delicately pierced your outer protective layer, and you gave yourself to me in a sea of the smoothest cream.

You know just how to tempt me.

Sometimes you like to include utensils in our games, but it doesn’t bother me, Food. I know it will help me enjoy you more too.

Sometimes my hands and mouth move towards you without thinking. I just can’t control myself when I’m around you!

You’ve tried to get me to explore your more oceanic flavors, but that’s just the one thing I won’t do, Food. I’m sorry.

You’re so good to me. You always remember to let me drink away the memory a little bit, but only on the nights when we’ve made mistakes together.

Remember when we said that, “What happens in Bosnia, stays in Bosnia?”

You’ve always been so fertile, I just know that someday we’ll expand our family.

There was that time that Drink tried to come between us.

He nearly did it too.

Now however, Drink is but a distant memory, growing evermore blurry in my mind.

Sometimes you make us beautiful, Food.

Sometimes you give us Autism too. But I know you’re just trying to keep things exciting.

I could really never cheat on you.

You see? You’ve got me wrapped all the way around your finger-foods!

On the 12th day, god invented gluttony.

And on the 13th day, we thanked him for it.

Remember that time I said I only wanted you once? But you gave yourself to me four times?

That’s truly a beautiful memory.

Sometimes you tease me with all of your options.

And sometimes I even get distracted.

But then you always remind me why we love each other and how come we work so well together.

I really don’t think I’ll ever leave you, Food.

Especially not when you give me unexpected presents and leave crumbly little reminders in my bed so that I think of you all day.

I hope you’re not getting bored with me, Food. Remember when we spent time with Bri in Paris and the four of us engaged in something that was really rather sinful? I’m always willing to expand our repertoire. Oh how I love you so! Happy Valentine’s Day.

with all my heart,
kari

Emily Kate Nathan moved away and is in Argentina right now. I miss her a lot!

Karen O misses Emmy a lot too. I bet Bob and Daniel also miss Emily a lot, but she probably won’t check my blog for another month which means that this sentence is going to sit here while a lot of people read it and maybe it will get awkward.

Flash-forward to Christmas morning, baby. Dad made these Dutch pancakes stuffed with pecans and maple butter.

Little Christmas nymph(o) swimming the wrapping paper seas.

We took a Christmas photo and I somehow managed to look like a sullen, chubby whore. Eat your heart out, family friends!

I forget what we were talking about during this photograph, but this may have been moments before a certain member of my family (not pictured) denied that global warming exists. It doesn’t though, right? Right? We can’t even predict tomorrow’s weather.

Voil

I had to take a bunch of portraits.

Bryan let me tag along on his photo shoot in which he arranged lighting and I arranged the proper smoking of cigars.

I learned how to solarize prints in the darkroom. I think they have this thing called Photoshop that does that too, but I’m not certain.

San Diego caught on fire, and afterwards it looked like this, but blacker and with more silver. My scanner is just a bit unfortunate.

xo,
kari

Here is this puppy that Emily thinks is cute. It’s name is Sophie.

Chris and Emily way back when before Rachael left a huge hole in my universe.

Speaking of shiny faces and holes: I have a shiny face, and Cameron left another huge hole. I miss him.

Anya obvs misses him too. How could you not? I think about you almost every day, Cam.

We went to a Morning Benders show back before life got sorta gay.

Robert came to visit and had dance parties in my room with Greg late in the afternoons after 4 bottles of wine.

Sometimes we go to bars and gay out on each other.

Someone saw this picture and said “Is Courtney drunk all the time?” Mostly she is (not).

BFF/Sister?

Dave punching his girlfriend while she gets licked by another man.

We sort of went out on Halloween. Cora creeped on Emmy all night long. How pretty are they?

I would too.

I filched 2006′s Halloween costume idea from my sister who, incidentally, has filched my favorite dress and my boots from me and still won’t give them back even though she promised mom and dad she would. It’s been 5 months, biatch. Send me my shit. Seriously.

Sometimes we go to bars and gay out on each other.

I’m really not so sure what’s going on here. Was it raining? Were we drinking rain? We were definitely drinking alcohol. That much is clear.

BFF Molly time. She came to Berkeley to restore my sanity and it worked! And then we stepped in berries that were relentlessly gushy and that perma-stained my vans. And then I lost my sanity when she left, bummer!

This is what my rack looks like when you look down my deep V-neck t-shirt: subtle, but suggestive.

Chloe why don’t I have any pictures of you? I miss you.

I hate everything!

love,
kari