Emily, Hallie, Derek and I went to the first night of Joanna Newsom at the Great American Music Hall. She was so good, so angelic, so beautiful, I get a stomachache everytime I think about her.
Hallie was there in full force. She bawled through the entire show. But seriously.
Em and I parked in a rape alley in the Tenderloin so Derek accompanied us to my car. We hung out in the alley for a while. That guy that sings “Lean on Me” in Union Square all the time gave us a private show, a woman told us the cops had taken away her only crack pipe, and one guy kindly offered us some morphine. The alley had such a friendly neighborhood feel, I’m thinking of moving to the TL.
I’m really liking the time I spend at the Cole&Fell house. Jordan teaches me something new every day. I like jam on toast. And I like jam on man. I mean boy.
Also he’s a crazy person. But he gives a mean foot massage so he’s good to keep around.
Oh hey, good lookin. I know it doesn’t look like it here, because he’s all clean shaven, but Derek is the father of that house. The Dad. The boss. The disciplinarian. And I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that Jordan quite enjoys being disciplined by him, too.
Then it was Christmas Eve, and since I had no commitments that night, I went to Ashley’s family’s party. She looked stunning.
And so did the twins.
I was trying to blend in with all the gentiles, so I wore some pearls.
But then when we were caroling, I found out Jews and Gentiles aren’t as different as one might think. When we Jews can’t come up with any lyrics that rhyme with toughies like “we-were-slaves-in-egypt-please-feel-sorry-for-us-even-though-we’ve-done-pretty-well-
for-ourselves-in-hollywood” we use refrains like “dai dai dai” or “lai lai lai” (just ask leonard cohen or simon and garfunkel). Likewise, when the Christians cannot come up with a rhyme for “if-you-don’t-love-the-baby-jesus-you-will-go-to-hell” they use “rum” or “pum” refrains. Though I really don’t understand why they don’t just use “blah blah blah …will go to hell…blah blah blah… santa’s sleigh bells.” Rhymes perfectly.
Cultural exchange: they showed me all the moves for “The 12 Days of Christmas” and I showed them the moves I learned on ANTM for making your arms look skinny.
I played a Christian for a night and hung an ornament on the tree, though my Jewish OCD reared its ugly head when it took me many many painstaking minutes to decide what branch to hang it on.
Then I went to Rachael’s parents’ house in Berkeley for Christmas Day. They gave me a scientific toy called a gyroscope. It defies gravity, which is cool, because I don’t believe in that anyway. Unicorns, rainbows, gravity, tall buildings, physics in general, really.
We took the doggies for a walk.
And then we cooked dinner with crazy ingredients, like this cauliflower-esque vegetable we named spirulini. Supposedly it grows out of the earth looking like this, but I don’t so much believe that either. Pretty sure there’s some magic at work.
I take cooking very seriously. And looking like a gentile on Christmas. This time I went with red shirt and green headband. Hella Christy-looking.
Then my old friend Matty B had some people over cuz his folks were out of town. Partytime! Alex and I always have a blast together.
That’s Matt, in case you don’t know. I’ve known him since I was 14. He took me to Amoeba for the first time. He also offered to take me to prom (but only if I made my own dress out of saran wrap). Memories…
AK is a large man/child. Look how tiny that tea cup is compared to him!
I’ve also known Adam since I was 14. One day, we’re gonna make out. One day…
Jay, Alex, and AK were naked in the hot tub for about two hours. Three men, all spoken-for, in a big sausage stew. Wasn’t exactly how Matt foresaw his hot tub plan.
Jay was pretty pruney and pretty disappointed no one else would join the hot tub party.
Lately, Alex is getting classier…
When I close my eyes and hug AK, I can imagine I am that much closer to Nicole, who I have a huge girlcrush on. Nicole and Joanna have a similar look: ridiculously beautiful.
And we’ve come full circle. I miss Joanna. I wake up every morning with a different part of the new album stuck in my head. aaaaaaaajhjhhhhhhhhh.