It had been a looooong time since I’d kicked back. So last night was the perfect way to begin my Thxgiving break. Hallie’s party had everything I needed:
Exhibit A: So much manflesh. I think I saw just as much of Cameron’s scrotum as I saw of his face.
Exhibit B: So much manbreast. When Hallie said to dress up as either a slutty Indian or a slutty Pilgrim, these dudes took it seriously. Seriously.
Exhibit C: Loose-lipped bitches who give it up for free.
Exhibit D: Hella titties. I know I am the worst at being a feminist, but can you blame me? They were everywhere!
See? Sometimes you just need a little motorboat action. Brlrlrlllrbrbbrllrbrlr.
Exhibit E: Gorgeous specimens.
Hallie had everything she needed there too.
She’d been waiting weeks to do this.
You can call Cameron crazy, but you cannot call him historically inaccurate.
SMALL POX THUG LIFE.
I wonder what Bob wants to call him…
“Yo, Squanto! Is that a squash in your loincloth, or are you just happy to see me?”
Either Cameron spilled wine all over my feet, or I am very very NOT pregnant anymore. Grosssssssss.
I was all trigger-happy because I’m not used to having a digital camera, so this take-a-pic-of-yourself thing is new for me. But I also know that when pictures are taken of me that close, I usually look a little downssyndrome-y. So I had to cover my face a little. Plus I was trying not to catch smallpox from all the slutty WASPS running around.
Hallie knows how to bro down better than any chick I know. The closest I get is calling girls bitches.
Nick is fucking hilarious. And always laughs at my jokes, no matter how politically incorrect they are. No judgement.
I don’t know why.
I thought maybe he was playing Santa, so I asked Karl, “If I sit on your lap and tell you what I want, will my wish come true?” and he said, “Depends what you want.” Fair enough, you creep.
Did Hallie’s wish come true?
Why, yes, I believe it did.
Oh HELLO… Francesca is a beauty.
So is Bianca. You eat that chicken, girrrrrrl!
How is Pat so tall that his head can literally appear in photos as if from nowhere?
A lesson in opposites: FIRE and WATER, INDIAN and PILGRIM, KARL and SOBRIETY.
Where was our webmaster during all this? Digging for ice cream, of course!
Can someone let me know when my tit comes out during photo ops? Yeah, thanks.
Update? 20 minutes later, Karl’s pants are still around his ankles. I DON’T KNOW. Also Alex pointed out to me on my camera that if you zoom in on this picture, you can actually see some scrotum. Classy.
Over on the couch…
Things started to heat up…look at that suction!
D-Damnnn Francesca! Also, did you know that her ancestors came over on the Mayflower? She didn’t even have to dress up, cuz she got pilgrim in her blood. Hella authentic.
Fucking crazy person.
Then, as if things couldn’t get any better, ALEX SHOWED UP… with a mandolin and that sweet sweet smile.
Bright and early this morning, it was back to studying. Alex and I went to Village Grounds and Em stopped by to distract us with her beauty. And freckles. And stack.
We thought Alex was hard at work, but when Emily looked at his computer screen, it turns out he was just sitting there, staring at a drawing of a hot dog bearing a huge cross. Weirddddo.
GET YOUR EYES OFF OF HER. Oops, I didn’t mean to talk about her as if I own her. Lemme try and rephrase that in a less objectifying way….DON’T TOUCH IT, IT’S MINE.
This is from last night. But it is FOREVER ETCHED INTO MY MIND. And I’m bringing you ALL DOWN WITH ME…..
good party. lets do that more often.