So Suzette, Charles and me was just eating some fried tofus at Kam Sing when all the sudden we hear breaking bottles and clanging cans. We whip around and see this:

We talked to the champion (green shirt, mustache) and got the full story. So Greenstache is strolling across the street when a 50 year-old shaggy dog looking character honks at him from his station wagon. Greenstache throws him a mean look and Shaggy5oh yells, “fuck you, walk better!”

Greenstache walks up to the car window and yells “fuck you” back at ’em. Shaggy5oh asks if there’s a problem and Greenstache throws his cup of watermelon into the window.

A serious brawl erupts and that’s when we started paying attention. Shaggy5oh rammed Greenstache into the wall, but Greenstache ended up on top pushing his head into the garbage. Shaggy5oh’s missus had to jump out of the car and rescue her husband from further humilation.

Shaggy5oh surrenders defeat to his younger, more mustachioed opponent. All the rage of middle management and mid-marraige sexual frustration wasn’t enough to overcome Greenstache’s decade of teen angst and general contempt for mainstream society.

Looking daggers upon one another, they parted ways. Greenstache walking to the bodega for another watermelon cup and Shaggy5oh getting into the car awaiting another lashing from his disgruntled wife.

No sex and no meatloaf until 2010.

And the kicker: Grandma is in the backseat tossing out pieces of missappropriated watermelon. What a bunch of assholes!