Vice had a party for the release of Chris Nierakto’s book of “porn reviews” and I was commissioned to be the event photographer at the last minute. Event photography, like porn, sounds pretty awful to me in theory, but in reality it ain’t half-bad.
A bunch of these photos ended up on the Vice Photo Blog and not everyone was too happy about the thought of Vice having their photo. (See disgruntled gentleman far right.)
Like any good event photographer, my job was to get photos as scandalous as possible. Don’t worry fellas there’ll be something for you later.
I’ll be having those souls, thank you.
Do they say chillax in New York?
Oh yeah, the party was at KCDC, a killer skateshop belonging to the lovely Amy.
I didn’t know that was Billy Rohan until hours after I took the picture. And that’s my boss that skates.
Chronologically, it’s still early in the night, but I can’t help but tell this story about Jilleen. After the party, we ended up at some skate bar where she was sitting next to some “lively” girls. I warned her about sitting there, telling her she’ll probably get in a fight if she stayed too long. She did. One of the girls bumped into Jill’s friend and Jill jumped up, punched a couple of the girls and tossed a boot across the bar. It was semi-comical but mostly bad vibes. My camera was out of batteries by then so I got up and slowly walked away during the tiff.
BFF Chrissy Barnes and my main man Moose.
The only thing more ridiculous than beer lines are Colt 45 lines. Billy D. Williams wasn’t even there.
Hot seat. Nieratko was supposed to do a reading.
“Hi, I’m Chris Nieratko and I’m an alcoholic. Booze…blah, blah, blah…tits…blah, blah, blah. Thanks for coming out. Good night.”
I actually used to subscribe to Big Brother when Chris Nieratko was an editor and really like his writing. He’s taught me a lot of what not to do in life.
Being the guest of honor has its perks.
Gavin (cross-eyed) invented Vice.
Along with Suroosh.
Suroosh: “You get a raise for taking such fine pictures.”
Me: “But Suroosh, I don’t even get paid.”
Nieratko: “Sucks for you, dickweed.”*
*That exchange never happened.
Nice kid. Ate a dozen popsicles made of his own cum for $700. Seriously.
I sense a theme.
She’s a really fast reader.
New friends that I will probably never see again. Farewell, Hilary and Erin.
I see this one everywhere.
Aqualung, my friend.
These girls know how to party. Roger that.
For all those brace fetishists.
Remember Sean Stockon. The longtime Berkeley fixture moved to Brooklyn and appears to be doing quite well.
Allen Ying shoots most of the skate photos in New York these days.
Mark from 538 Johnson representing on the sly.
Igei and Kyle have the nicest bikes in NY only because their from SF.
It started raining and made for the prettiest picture of the night.
Look what the cat drug in. Darin was in town from SF on a roadtrip with the DLX boys.
I know that nose. Gerwer.
Dylan Rieder is a good rider.
David Clark is good southern boy and Krooked’s newest am.
When you’re a kid, you think people like Amy and Darin (shop owner and team manager) are the luckiest people in the world because they never have to pay for anything. But I’ll tell you what, son, Dairy Queen don’t except wheels in trade.
When the party was over, I offered to chaperone the DLX boys to Enids with my expert knowledge of the lay of the land. Between the door and the van we picked up these babes. Pia and Leah.
Joe Brook in front of the camera.
Time for some vantics. Did I really just invent that? According to google, pretty much yes. I am a genius.
The girls drew hand hearts.
While Dylan pissed in a bottle.
Oh wait. There we go. Didn’t I tell you that was coming?
Pretty girls love having their picture taken.
Forget the hearts. Pia was pissed that Dylan had a girlfriend.
Some guy offered to take a picture of us. How nice.
He snapped about ten until my battery died. Not so nice. Notice Jilleen’s growing aggression.
When I grabbed my camera back, he wanted to fight me. It was a silly situation but quickly resolved when I explained that I was, in fact, a skateboarder. “Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else,” he said. “One of those Vice faggots.” There was nothing more to say. With good vibes come the bad vibes. But I don’t want to end this on a bad note….
We must remember what’s really important in life. Steamy man-on-man and girl-on-girl action. Alllll night looooong.