It is cold here and each morning I kneel in the snow to pray that I will be home soon. I press my hands together but my fingers will not align. My trigger finger cannot lay still and I fear that my prayers will not be answered. This is the lousiest place in the world and I have never felt so lonely. I miss you like you will never know, like I never knew when I left. Now I laugh at all the dreams we held between us before I left. It is like trying to grasp these snowflakes. Two months turned into three years. Your beloved has turned into a monster. I hope you can look me in the eye if we are ever blessed with such an opportunity again.